U. S. Seniors Retiring To Iraq; Say Thats Where The Medicare Money Is.

U. S. senior citizens, noting President Bushs new budget, which calls for billions to be spent in Iraq while billions are cut from Medicare, are foregoing traditional retirement destinations like Florida and Arizona and opting for Iraq.

The numbers reflect a convincing coincidence. Bushs budget calls for $100 billion more for Iraq and $100 billion in cuts for Medicare.

Following up on the new retirement trend, we went to Kennedy Airport and caught up with some seniors who were booked for Baghdad.

Excuse me, I asked a group of seniors who just stepped off the bus in front of Saudi Arabian Airlines. I understand youre all heading for Iraq?

Thats right, a man in Bermuda shorts replied, and reached into his golf bag. He took out a chapeau in the usual mullah fashion. Got my black turban right here. You know what they say? When in Baghdad, do as the Iraqis do.

And I have my black burkah, his wife added, lifting it from her purse. She slipped it over her head and modeled it. What do you think?

Very cute, I replied. Youll fit right in. Can you please clarify why youve chosen to retire in Iraq instead of, say, Miami?

Simple, son, a man with a fishing rod, who happened to be wearing a baseball cap on top of his turban, said, Thats where the Medicare money is.

Not to mention social security, his wife commented.

The plain fact is, wed rather eat in Iraq than starve in America, another man added.

But arent you concerned about safety issues? I asked.

Of course, we are, the man in the Bermudas replied. But were in this for the long term and, the way things are going, we can hardly count on Medicare and social security in America.

Weve got to follow the food, another elderly gentleman stated.

But you could get blown up? I suggested.

Oh, we thought about that, the man with the baseball hat on top of his turban replied. Well just have to take our chances.

Never underestimate the power of a senior citizen, a frail man said, raising his fist. Didnt you read about the 70-year-old fella who broke the neck of the kid who tried to rob a busload of seniors?

Yes, I did notice that event, I told him.

He was a war vet, one of the women informed me, with evident pride.

Yep, of one American war or another, a senior volunteered with a sigh. Quite a few to choose from.

How about suicide bombers? I dared to ask.

Bring em on, son, the frail senior said, assuming the position of a boxer with his dukes up.

But arent you forgetting that most of the money earmarked for Iraq is for military activity? I asked.

Were going for the rebuilding money, the man in the Bermudas said. Theyre wasting billions. And we figure we can get in the way of some of it.

And what do you think is going to happen when Americans see millions of seniors, retired in Iraq? They cant just let us starve there, can they?

Congress will have to divvy up something for us, and thats more than theyre likely to do if we stay in America.

And something is better than nothing, a woman affirmed.

But what about the culture gap? I asked. Arent you a little set in your ways?

Yes, we are, one of the men admitted.

I notice the turbans. Do you plan on becoming Muslim?

Whatever it takes to get in the way of some money, the man insisted.

Weve thought about it, his wife interjected. And becoming Islamic is better than not being able to afford medical care.

Or starving on whats left of social security, another woman added.

Do you think youll be able to enjoy the usual retirement activities there, like golf and fishing? I asked.

No problem, the man with the golf bag said. Iraq may not have the best golf courses, but I see theres plenty of desert for sand traps.

Ive noticed a river runs through Baghdad, the man with the fishing rod said. Got to be something in it besides body parts.

How about you? I asked a woman with a tennis racquet.

I havent seen any tennis courts there, she admitted, but some of the sand should be hard enough for the ball to bounce.

What about a net? I asked.

I guess therell be some sacrifices, she replied, and looked around at the crowd. But I know one thing. I wont have far to look for someone to play with.

I brought my racket, another woman called.

And, if worse comes to worse, her husband advised her, you can teach an Iraqi how to play.

Excuse us, son, one of the men said. We have to move along now. Cant miss our flight.

Were bound for Baghdad! his wife almost sang.

OK, I replied. Thanks for the interview. And enjoy your retirement.

Tom Attea, humorist and creator of http://NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing "delightfully funny," "witty," with "good, genuine laughs" and "great humor and ebullience."

What Are The Characteristics Of Collies?

Collies were initially bred to herd sheep. The AKC classifies the Collie among the Herding Group. This breed is graceful and has plenty of endurance. They weigh between 55 to 80 pounds and stand from 22 to 26 inches tall. Whether brown or blue in color, their almond shaped eyes appear to gleam with intelligence. The prick ears of the Collie give it the appearance of always being alert. They can be smooth or rough coated. the rough coat of a Collie is fuller and longer than a smooth coated Collie. The Collie comes in white, sable, tricolor or blue merle colors.

They are very active and have a protective instinct which makes this breed an excellent family dog. The Collie takes its duties as a watchdog very seriously. He barks at all intruders, whether people, animals or pieces of trash that is blowing around in the yard. Not all Collies are diligent protectors. Some of these dogs can be nervous and very high strung. Most of them are wonderful with children, however. A Collie loves to spend time outside and therefore would not be a good choice for apartment living.

The Collie can be headstrong and can get into a lot of mischief while a puppy. It is recommended that you attend obedience training with your Collie. It is easier to train a puppy that hasnt developed bad habits than an older dog. It is important to be firm with your Collie if you dont want him on your furniture. If allowed on your furniture he will feel he has the right to be there.

The Collie has minimal health problems. PRA and eye diseases are the most common problems for these dogs. Your Collie is much more likely to be taken to the veterinarian because he has injured himself while jumping around and exploring his surroundings than for a health problem.

Collies have a tendency to overeat and can pack away a lot of food. It is recommended that they be given three small meals each day. If he develops a bulging middle, speak with your veterinarian about possible dog foods that promote weight loss.

Collies do not require extensive grooming, but you want to brush through their coats several times a week to avoid matting. Pay attention to the hair around his face, around his legs and behind the ears.

If youre looking for an intelligent family dog, one that will protect your family and play with your kids, then the Collie is the perfect pet for you.

George Adams is a staff writer at http://www.pets-digest.com and is an occasional contributor to several other websites, including http://www.recreation-digest.com.